For families
You received an email from us. Here is what it means.
We are sorry you are reading this. This page explains why the email came, how to check it is really from us and what to do next, in your own time.
Why the email came
Someone who used Gentle Handover chose you, by name, to receive something they left.
You were chosen by name
The person kept an account with us and asked for letters, files, instructions or other things to reach you. Nobody else asked us to write to you.
It was not sent on a guess
A missed check-in never sends anything on its own. Almost everything waits until the death is confirmed, by people the person trusted or by someone on our team. Our team does not always need a death certificate to confirm. Then we write to the person once more and wait before anything reaches you. A few urgent wishes, such as funeral plans, can open sooner. That happens only if someone the person allowed reports the death and the person does not answer in time.
There is nothing to buy
You do not need an account, a plan or a card. There is nothing to join or sign up for, and it costs you nothing.
It is not a scam. Here is how to check
After a death, families receive many messages. You are right to be careful, and you never have to take our word for it.
The email names the person
It says who set this up and how long they had an account with us. If the name means nothing to you, write to us before you do anything else.
You can skip every link
You do not have to press anything in the email. Type our address yourself, open the family sign-in page, and enter your email address and the short access code from the email.
The button works only once
The button in the email opens your private page with one press, and it works once. Some email programs open links to check them, and that does not use the button up. A forwarded email cannot open the page again.
We never ask for money or codes
Nobody from Gentle Handover will ask you to pay a fee or to read out a code, on the phone or anywhere else. We phone you only if the person named you as someone who can confirm what happened. You type a code only on our sign-in page, yourself. If someone says they are from us and asks for money or a code, it is not us.
Every address and number we use
How we will contact you
First by email, from our address, naming the person who chose you. If they gave us other ways to reach you, we may use those too, one at a time, and only until you sign in or tell us you got it.
Look for the family phrase
The person who set this up can choose a phrase that only the people they chose know. If they did, every email from us that hands you something they left, or tells you it is waiting, ends with it, after the words "Anna asked us to include your family phrase." So does any text we send you about it. If the phrase is missing or wrong, do not press anything and write to us.
We never ask for money or passwords
We never ask for a fee, a payment, a password or a code, and never by phone. A message that asks for any of these is not from us.
One message per event
We tell you once about each thing. If you do not answer, we try your next way to be reached, and we stop the moment you sign in.
Check who they really owed
People who read death notices sometimes call families and say money is owed. If the person recorded their debts and chose you to see them, your private page shows the list as they left it. Check any request for money against it before you pay anything. A real creditor will put it in writing and will wait while you check.
The list may not be complete, so a claim that is missing from it is a reason to check, not proof that it is false.
How to sign in
Use the same email address the message came to.
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1. Press the button in the email
It opens your private page with nothing to type.
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2. Or use the access code
On the family sign-in page, enter your email address and the access code from the email. The code works once.
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3. Next time
Choose a password on your page, or ask for a sign-in link by email from the sign-in page.
If the button was already used or is too old, the page it opens offers to email you a new sign-in link at the same address.
What you may find inside
Only what the person chose to leave for you. Some of it may be there, some not.
What was left for you
Letters, recordings, photos, files, last wishes and instructions. Passwords, keys and account logins usually wait longer. They open once someone on our team has read a death certificate. If nobody can send one, they open after a set number of days.
The first 30 days guide
A list of what to do next, built from what the person recorded. It follows the order these things usually come, from the first 48 hours to the first week, the first 30 days and later. It is a checklist, not legal advice.
A shared checklist
If you were chosen to work through the guide with others, you all see the same list. Mark a task done, say "I'll handle this" and leave short notes, so nobody does the same thing twice. Marking a task done does not tell any bank or office.
If you were chosen for them
These pages open only for the people the person named. Nobody else can see that they exist.
Tonight plan
For the person named to take the children. It covers allergies and medication, the doctor, school and pick-up, routines and who else to call. Ready to print.
How our home works
The household manual. Bills, repairs and trusted trades, safety, documents and keys, and the everyday things only the person knew.
Care handover
For the person named to care for someone next. How they communicate, their medication, their routine, what calms them and where the legal side stands.
What this does not replace
What the person left with us is there to help you. It does not settle the estate, and it does not decide who may act for it.
It is not a will
Letters, wishes and instructions left here record what the person wanted. They do not change what anyone owns, owes or inherits. Look for a will as well. If it says something different, the will is what counts.
"Executor" here is a label
If your private page calls you the executor, it means the person marked you as executor in Gentle Handover. That decides only what reaches you here. Who may act for the estate is decided by the will, a court or the law where the person lived.
Banks and companies have their own process
Banks, insurers, employers and online services each have a process for someone who has died, and most ask for a death certificate. Use it, even where a password was left for you. Most providers forbid signing in as someone who has died, and in some countries it counts as unauthorised access.
What usually comes first
If you were chosen for it, the family guide on your private page lists the steps in the usual order. First the medical certificate and the funeral. Then registering the death, finding the will and finding out who may act for the estate. Then the bank, the pension and the accounts.
The rules differ from country to country. For anything about inheritance, debts, tax or property, ask a lawyer or a notary where the person lived. We cannot tell you which rules apply, and nothing on this site is legal advice.
Take your time
Nothing here has to be done today.
There is no time limit
What was left for you stays on your private page. We take it down only if the family or the estate asks us to close the account, or if it turns out it was sent by mistake.
The code lasts 7 days
And when it runs out, one press on the sign-in page sends a new sign-in link to your address. You cannot be locked out by waiting.
Open it at your own pace
On your page you can choose to see everything now, one thing at a time, or not yet. You can change it whenever you like. Anything that cannot wait stays on show.
If you think the person is alive
Before anything reaches a family, we write to the person first and wait 48 hours. If the person is alive, confirming with their password in that time stops everything. A few urgent wishes have a wait of their own, which the person chose and which starts when a death is reported.
- If they can sign in, ask them to press "Check in now". That stops an open case.
- Then write to us and choose "Stop a release: I am alive". A person on our team reads it first and treats it as urgent.
- If something was sent in error, we take it down from the family pages.
We are not an emergency service
If someone may be in danger right now, call the local emergency number (112 in Europe, 911 in the US and Canada) before anything else.
A person is here if you need one
If a link will not open, a code does not work, or you would simply rather write to a person, we will answer. You are also welcome to write just to ask where to find bereavement support near you.